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Setting Boundaries

Saturday, March 02, 2024

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What is a BOUNDARY?

What is a Boundary?

As defined in Wikipedia, "it is a Space between us and another person."

It is considered a form of Self-Care, as it helps to create a Clear Guildeline, Rule or Limit, of how we want to be treated.

Boundaries are the Invisible Lines that define the Limits of Acceptable Behavior in Relationships.

These Boundaries, once set, serve as Safeguards for our Emotional, Mental, and Physical Well-Being, and can Protect us from Harm.

They also set up Mutual Respect and Understanding.

Without Verbalizing (setting) our 'Healthy' Boundaries, we may be at the mercy of others, allowing them to tell us What to Do and How to Think, Act and Feel.  

Let's explore the Benefits, Techniques, and Tips for Setting Boundaries and Cultivating Healthy, Fulfilling Relationships.

BENEFITS of Setting BOUNDARIES

Boundaries let others know what is, and what is not, OK and/or Acceptable to us.  This in turn, honors our Wants and Needs so that we Feel Respected and Safe. 

Setting Boundaries Promotes our Self-Respect and Communicates our Self-Worth by letting others know How we Expect to be Treated, and Establishes a Foundation of Mutual Respect and Equality in our Relationships.

By Clearly and Concisely Communicating our Preferences and Concerns, this establishes Clear Boundaries.  It also Enhances and Facilitates Open and Honest Communication, allowing us to express our Needs, Wants, Concerns and Fears.

Any form of Judgment, Anger, Rejection or Slander is a clear indication our Boundaries are not being Respected, and at this point, it is up to us whether to continue such a Relationship moving forward.  Know that these Actions are never really about us and that we can never Control other People's Behaviors.  We can however, Control how we React to them and whether we will accept their Actions.

By effectively Communicating our Preferences and Concerns, we can Focus on Creating a Strong Bond between our Friends and Family Members.  

Boundaries can Protect us from Emotional Harm and Manipulation, which ultimately Safeguards and Preserves our Mental and Emotional Well-Being. 

Boundaries provide a Sense of Safety and Security, allowing us to Engage in Relationships that are Healthy, Happy and Loving, anything less, is something we should re-consider.

​A Strong MINDset filled with Positive Thinking helps us to set our Boundaries and Speak Up Accordingly.

TIPS for Setting BOUNDARIES

💜 Identify our Needs:

By identifying our Needs, Values, Priorities and Personal Boundaries, we can express Clearly and Upfront what we will and will not accept.  Areas and Topics that make us Feel Uncomfortable or Compromised, determines the Boundaries that we need to Establish at the Start, in order to protect our Well-Being.

💜 Communicate our Needs:

By Clearly Communicating our Boundaries to others in a Respectful and Assertive manner, we make our Expectations known on how we wish to be Treated and what we are interested in Discussing (think Politics, Religion etc).

💜 Reinforce our Needs:

By being Consistent with upholding our Boundaries, it helps to Reinforce our Commitment to Self-Care and Strengthens our Boundaries over time.

NOTE:

We cannot Control other people's behaviors, however, we can Control How we React to them and whether we want to further pursue a Relationship with someone who disregards our Boundaries.

TECHNIQUES for Setting BOUNDARIES

Assertiveness:

By expressing our Boundaries in a Non-Confrontational way, and by being Sincere yet Firm, we set our Boundaries in a Positive way while Maintaining a Calm, Cool and Collected Composure.  

Boundary Setting Scripts:

Preparation is always KEY!  By Preparing Scripts or Phrases ahead of time, we are Prepared to use them when we are Communicating our Boundaries with others.

Having Pre-Planned Responses helps us Navigate difficult Conversations with Confidence and Clarity.

For example:  "Just to let you know up front, I do not discuss Political Views, and would appreciate not engaging in Politics with you at all.  I trust that's OK with you!"

Self-Advocacy:

We all must Advocate for ourselves, for our Needs, for our Well-Being and, for our Boundaries. 

Expressing them with Confidence and Humility helps us to Prioritize our Self-Care.

Rules:

By setting Boundaries up front, it helps others interact accordingly, knowing what our Boundaries are and that they are set.

Know what you will and will not accept and hold tight to your Rules.

Self-Awareness:

By Tuning inward into our Emotions and Physical Sensations, we can identify when our Boundaries have been crossed, and can Respond Assertively to protect our Well-Being.

Whenever we feel off, we must Trust our Instincts and Intuition, and learn to Speak up with Gentle Confidence when our Boundaries are being crossed by Explaining (again if we have to), what is and what is not acceptable.

Self-Care Practices:

By Setting and Sticking to our Boundaries, we Maintain our Positive Energy and, Promote Healthy Practices for ourselves. 
 

WHY Setting BOUNDARIES is ESSENTIAL

🟣 Boundaries are Essential for Maintaining our Emotional Health and Well-Being.

🟣 Boundaries provide a Sense of Safety and Security that helps Protect us from Emotional Harm and helps Preserve our Sense of Self.

🟣 Boundaries create Healthy Relationships built on Mutual Respect, Trust and Understanding.

🟣 Boundaries Empower us to decide what Behaviour we will and will not allow from others.

🟣 Boundaries help us to Live our Lives in Peace, Harmony, Respect and Love.  

BOUNDARY RULES

Setting and Sharing our Boundaries is like Reading the Rules of a Game before Playing.  All parties need to know what our Boundaries are, what is acceptable, and what is not.

Setting Boundaries provide Rules for others to Navigate.  Just as others must be Respectful towards our Boundary Rules, we too must adhere to other's Boundary Rules.

Ultimately, we have the Choice to Express our Feelings and Create our Boundaries.  If anyone plays outside of our 'Rules', it is then up to us as to how we proceed.  Will we continue with this Game, or end it.  

On a final note, it is always best to Gently communicate our Boundaries ahead of any potential Relationship. If there are no Boundaries set, no one knows the Rules.

Remember, The Rules are always Read before the Game begins!

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2 Ways to SHIFT your MINDset:

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FREE MINDset Mantras

Keeping in a Positive MINDset is Work. Most of us were not taught How to Keep a Positive MINDset.

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